Passing For Normal

My local BFF and her husband are now able to put me on their AT&T cellular plan at very low cost to me (previously anything more than a very simple un-smart-phone with basic voice & text was prohibitively expensive). So I'm finally going to join the rest of y'all and get a smartphone with a data plan.

Because Dan the Man smells a new tech buying opportunity and becomes a runaway horse -- all you can do is hang on for dear life and make sure you're still there at the finish line -- I have to make a decision on which smartphone I want by 10am tomorrow morning. I spent several hours yesterday reading about the damn things until my eyes crossed and my brain hurt and I couldn't remember which was which and which did or didn't do this or that thing... but at least I have it narrowed down. I think.

It will definitely be an Android phone. Because reasons.

I'm leaning toward either the LG G2 or the Samsung Galaxy S4.

Galaxy Pros: 16 GB + has micro SD card slot for up to 64 GB additional.
Galaxy Cons: Apparently a battery hog; often needs mid-day recharge.

LG G2 Pros: Great battery life; doesn't need mid-day recharging. 32 GB of internal storage (22 GB of user available storage). Optical stabilization for video camera.
LG G2 Cons: No data card slot.

Both are supposed to be great cameras, voice phones, texters, etc. Doesn't seem to be much difference there. They're roughly the same weight and similar in size. Both have plastic bodies, not metal. Price is not a factor in this decision.

Does anyone have strong opinions about either of these? Love? Hate? Best thing ever? Should be thrown into nearest large body of water?

Haaaalp???