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posted by [personal profile] malnpudl at 08:32pm on 19/12/2014
There seems to be no end to decluttering. Every time I make a clutter vacuum, it sucks more clutter in to fill the void. This, combined with my severe and lifelong case of Horizontal Surface Disease, makes for an endless struggle.

I've lately been eyeing my considerable collection of not-at-all-valuable family *airquotes* heirlooms *airquotes*. You really have to use the airquotes, because they really do fall that far short. I have oodles of heavily tarnished silver plate things, some of them with family monograms. They're clunky old relics that wanted to look like Real Stuff but never managed it even in their day, and that day is so many decades past that a century is visible on the horizon. Ditto for the wanna-be-crystal stuff. And so much flatware and odd serving utensils that they require a second chest to hold them, because the chest for the 12-piece silverplace flatware set doesn't have near enough room, even with its extra drawer.

I did a bit of googling and a bit of ebay surfing and I didn't find anything realistically going for more than $20 or so. There were a bunch of higher priced listings, but they'd been sitting for so long without activity that there were layers of dust, so I can't take those prices seriously. Point being, it's not like I could make significant money off these things.

What do people DO with all this stuff? By this point, the weight of family history is heavier than the pieces themselves. But I don't know of anyone my age or younger on either side of the family who would get excited about them, much less pay to have them shipped across the country. And yet it's hard to think of just... unloading them on strangers just to make them go away. Because... family history. Argh.

I don't even know.

Thoughts? Advice?
There are 11 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
green_grrl: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] green_grrl at 12:44pm on 20/12/2014
I 100% get where you are on this. There are way too many familial accoutrements junking up my house, too. Most of us just don't live in a world where we bring out the fine china and silver for a formal meal for twelve a few times a year. There are a few things that I actually like, or have strong memories associated with. But for most of it? I think that I am one baby step farther, where yard sale or flea market table is just fine. And after that I might finally be ready for the donation box at the nearest charity, for any leftovers.

De-cluttering in general has had a snowball effect for me, where once I started, later I was able to let go of more, and later yet more. The usual excuses of "but the memories" or "oh, I'll get that repaired" or "I need to find out where I can sell this for the best price" become less important, and just getting the stuff OUT becomes more important.
malnpudl: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] malnpudl at 07:33am on 22/12/2014
Most of us just don't live in a world where we bring out the fine china and silver for a formal meal for twelve a few times a year.

Yes! That's it exactly. When I was growing up, this stuff got used for special occasions and major holidays. Even if Mom did roll her eyes over some of it, at least most of it actually got used.

It's been at least 20 to 25 years since anyone has used any of this stuff. Probably a great deal longer for some of it.

A couple of brilliant souls over on LJ suggested taking pictures of it. I was already planning to polish all the silver, even if only to pretty it up in preparation for re-homing it, and this really pinged me. I can keep pictures! I don't have to keep the things! *lightbulb*

Isn't making things go away marvelous? I feel about half a ton lighter for every donation trip I take to the thrift store. :-)
wyomingnot: (house!)
posted by [personal profile] wyomingnot at 01:58pm on 20/12/2014
Thankfully there's not much in the way of heirlooms in my family. Closest thing I had was the piano that my grandmother bought the family back in the 70s. I wasn't about to pay to keep it in storage (definitely not good for a piano), and neither of my brothers wanted it. My parents were full-time RVers who could take it. So it went with the rest of my stuff. Estate sale before I fucked off to Mongolia. I went from filling up a three-bedroom, two bath, 1800 square foot house to a 5' x 10' storage unit.

The problem with decluttering is that it never lasts. Getting rid of old stuff doesn't make new habits. Without changing your patterns of acquisition, you'll never stay decluttered.

I came to China with three suitcases. A year and a half later, there is no way in hell my stuff would fit in *10* suitcases. But then again, when I buy shit now, I do it knowing it will not come back with me to the states when I eventually go back (hopefully not for another ten years or so).

Sorry for the prattle.
malnpudl: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] malnpudl at 07:35am on 22/12/2014
Every time I move house I get rid of enormous amounts of stuff, and it's always a wonderful feeling. I always swear I won't accumulate new stuff all over again... but then I always do. *sigh*

World travel would really make you take a close look at things, wouldn't it? Wow. I both admire and envy you. :-)
wyomingnot: (wyomingnot by calathea)
posted by [personal profile] wyomingnot at 12:23am on 24/12/2014
Nothing to admire or envy, except that I have a steady job that I don't hate, reliable paycheck, and nearly four months off each year. :) (love the long winter break they take here)

And not really travelling, beyond getting here. *shrug* But. When I buy stuff, I have to keep in mind that it's probably not coming with me when I leave (which hopefully won't be for at least another 10 years).

I liked the idea someone had of taking pics of your stuff. :)
sperrywink: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] sperrywink at 05:44pm on 20/12/2014
No ideas on what to do with the stuff, but good luck getting rid of it, one way or another!
malnpudl: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] malnpudl at 07:35am on 22/12/2014
Thank you! I'm getting great suggestions from people. My favorite so far is to take pictures of it, and keep the pictures instead of the things. Brilliant!
seascribble: the view of boba fett's codpiece and smoking blaster from if you were on the ground (Default)
posted by [personal profile] seascribble at 11:22pm on 20/12/2014
I've managed to avoid collecting a lot, mostly by foisting it off on siblings or my parents, but that probably isn't an option for you? Can you pack it all into an attic or maybe a cheap storage unit?
malnpudl: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] malnpudl at 07:39am on 22/12/2014
I'm slowly becoming part of the older generation in my extended family. (Which, holy FUCK, when did that happen???) Which is to say, there's only one family member left in my parents' generation, and the last thing she wants is more stuff.

Neither I nor my brother had kids, and my cousins' kids who are now in the 20 to 30 age range aren't interested in such terribly outdated stuff. For which I can't blame them.

A couple of people on LJ suggested taking photos -- get rid of the stuff and keep the pictures, and with them, the memories. I really like this idea!
boxofdelights: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] boxofdelights at 01:23am on 21/12/2014
Does this book sound appealing?

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Everyone I know who read this enjoyed it and its insistence that we hold every object we own, and only keep it if provides us with a “spark of joy.” If you don’t feel the spark of joy, thank the object for its service and what it taught us. Then get rid of it. Also notable is Kondo’s charming and loving anthropomorphic descriptions of how socks feel if they are folded incorrectly in your drawer.

(I didn't write that description; it came from [personal profile] badgerbag's 2014 roundup here.)

I have picked up several of this sort of book over the decades, and abandoned them in despair, because they all required a level of energy, or emotional resilience, or executive function that I don't think I've ever had. But Liz lives with a lot of pain a lot of the time. If she likes this book, I think I might too.
Edited Date: 2014-12-21 01:50 am (UTC)
malnpudl: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] malnpudl at 07:43am on 22/12/2014
That sounds pretty cool. I've stuck it on my Amazon wish-list, and will ponder whether I'd really read it. *wry grin*

And yes, I hear that. My best efforts in the past have all been when a friend -- one of those who is kite to my anchor, if you know what I mean -- has come and helped, providing energy, focus, direction, and organization, while I did specific decision-making tasks that she put in front of me. I often wistfully wish I still had someone like that in my current life.

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