Passing For Normal

If you've never read Cryoburn, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS POST. Stay unspoiled, okay? Okay.

As advised by you lovely people, I read Captain Vorpatril's Alliance first and Cryoburn last, which was the best possible advice and I am infinitely grateful for it.

Like I said in my last post, while I have come to love Miles and a number of other characters, in the Vorkosiverse my heart belongs utterly and completely to Aral and Cordelia -- and Aral most of all.

And so, inevitably, when I got to That Scene at the end of Cryoburn the tears started flowing freely, and when I got into the drabbles that followed, it escalated to full-blown sobbing. That was an hour ago, and the tears still haven't entirely stopped.

Is there a support group for this? Well, yeah, of course there is, and it's called fandom. But wow, this particular character death just shattered me.

The best parts of each book in the series, for me, have been the bits where Aral and Cordelia -- and especially Aral -- made an appearance. It's going to hurt every single time from now on, with each new book, knowing that I won't have those treasures to look forward to. He's gone. Aral is gone, and I'm not ready, I'll never be ready for that.

If I had my way, Bujold would write a dozen more books all centered around Aral and Cordelia, back before Miles was born, most of them before the two of them ever even met. I want to know all about them. I want stories about them that are as deep and rich as the books about Miles.

I know I won't get them, of course. And that hurts, too.

Which means it's time to ask for recs. And group hugs. And for somebody to pass the tissues, please and thank you kindly. But most of all, I would be hugely grateful for recs.

Can anyone point me to fic that's focused on Aral and/or Cordelia? Backstory is awesome, but any point in time is great. Or even if they're not the main characters, fic that features either or both of them in substantive and satisfying ways? Short, long, doesn't matter. I just need to spend a little more time with them. My heart needs it.

Also hugs. Because I'm really in need of hugs just now.